DIVINE CALL CENTRE, MULKI

IF YOU ARE HURT DON'T KEEP SILENT.EXPRESS IT TI JESUS!

We might think that there is no one to listen to us when we are deeply hurt. There are a lot of people around us who can listen to us and give us counsel. Among the people we know there are some who are fantastic listeners. We perhaps do not know because we never found out. Let’s say that there is no one actually. But there is always someone who can listen to us and love us unconditionally. And that wonderful and smart person is we ourselves. And even if we do not care at all to listen to ourselves and understand our hurt feelings there is always someone forever who is waiting to listen to us, longing to listen to us and loves to listen to us. And that person is none other than the only son of the living God Jesus himself. We do not have to worry or bother as to how we are going to tell Jesus our feelings. Or we do not have to find a fitting place as we think to tell him all that we have to. We can just do it when we take our morning walk or we can tell him when we work in the kitchen garden. We can also tell him just when we sit and relax in our arm chair. But it is important that we tell him. There is nothing wrong if we can talk to him through our counselor because he is the right person who can guide us. In fact he is the greatest counselor in heaven and on earth. “The surest way to become unhappy is to keep our hurt inside”. It is always good to tell the people who hurt you that they hurt you when they hurt you. Hurt is pain. It is the pain we experience now. Why it hurts we know it very well. When we are hurt, hurt speaks to us and motivates us to limit our pain. A hurt could be an actual hurt when some one has hurt us. It could be also something that worries us all the time. It could also be something that has caused us a big problem which we would like to share. Or it could be anger bottled inside us. The pain could be the weight of our sins or the weight of someone else’s sins when some one has betrayed, deceived, abandoned, ridiculed, cheated and made a fool of us. There are three things necessary for real counseling with Jesus. First we have to try and build a relationship with Jesus. Secondly we have to allow Jesus to explore and understand us. For this we have to open ourselves one 100 percent. We must disclose ourselves to Jesus. And thirdly we must allow Jesus to solve our problems. For this we must have the required humility to surrender to his solutions. Why do we need a counselor? -The world is often a confusing and an overwhelming place. So we often do need someone help us get through the fog. -We have a sin problem that we cannot handle by ourselves. We may try to be good but often do fail. We need someone who can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We need someone to lead to salvation and life. -And finally we yearn for a relationship with God. We do not realize this sometimes. But we keep searching for a meaning and a purpose in life. We are actually seeking the almighty. We need someone to lead us to Him. The characteristic of a good counselor is to rightly identify the problem and no one can do it better than Jesus. And therefore we have to develop a relationship with Jesus and allow him to develop a relationship with us. Jesus knows the right prescription for our problems because he can understand us well. Jesus has given us the right prescription of joyful living. We are to trust him rather than trusting ourselves. We are to love one another rather than take advantage. We are to forgive rather than be bitter. We are to be holy rather than profane. We are to store up treasures in heaven rather than on earth. We are to be generous rather than selfish. We are to seek to serve rather than seek to be served. Jesus is the one who understands when no one else does. He is the one who stands by us when every one else turns away. He is the one who can really help us confront the past and begin again. He can help us find the God we knew was present but could not reach. He is the greatest listener and a good listener can build better relationships. Jesus as a good listener releases our tension, purifies us, clarifies thinking, shares the burden, establishes a relationship and avoids judgement. So what do we have to do when we are deeply hurt? Hurt is the present pain and pain of the moment. Hurt speaks for itself, motivating us to limit our pain. We must tell this to Jesus if not anyone else, if possible, without wasting any time. The faster we do, the better it is. We do have anxiety inside which is the pain of the future. But then it inspires us to get out of the way of danger. We can deposit our anxiety in the spiritual account of Jesus. So let us not waste time withholding our anger. Anger helps us to express our hurt and energizes us to protect ourselves. When we hold in anger it redirects it to ourselves. And then it turns into guilt. It serves no purpose and erodes our self confidence and some times it makes us doubt our own goodness. When we are angry we do not have to shout or hit the other person but redirect our anger in the right channel or directly go to Jesus to tell him the truth about it. Then we can believe and wait and see what happens. Jesus the miracle worker will make miracles in our lives. John 14:26 says, “But the helper the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you”. We need to express our hurt as it happens. Sometimes it is risky because the person who hurt us could be someone we care about. Some times he may not agree with us and we also will know that he does not care about our feelings. The sooner you know this, the better. Why waste more time. If the other person points a finger at me and says that I am the person who caused the hurt. It’s a good time to discover the truth, clear the air and become friends again. The other person may deny accepting that he hurt us; it could be that he is telling the truth. Because most people do not have the intention of hurting others at all. When we are silent it is hard for others to understand that we have been hurt. Expressing our hurt sometimes puts our love and friendship on the line. It also tests our love for ourselves. It is always the right thing to do if we value our relationship. And when we value this more Jesus must be our counselor. We must tell it to Jesus sincerely and truthfully as we notice the hurt without wasting time. John 16:23 says, “When the spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come”. Let us not display our anger and attack or shout at Jesus for the problem. Whatever we do we should not allow our anger to age. If we cannot express the hurt we can not even express our love because anger blocks positive feelings. So let us not hold in anger. Jesus does well and heals all of us when we express our hurt. Mathew 11:28 says, “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest”. Holding in hurt is the way love dies. Open up, smile and shine. Roque Raay Neerude